Keep Calm and Drink Tea

Working evening shifts gives you some insights into strange Brit habits.  Like when someone buys pasta or a whole roast chicken and say 'That'll do me for Tea', it kinda makes you wonder about certain people's culinary choices.  Or if an old colleague takes a 1 hour long 'tea break' everyday, you are wont to turn around to your Polish colleague and go 'Man, she does take an awful lot of time to drink her cuppa, doesn't she?'

And all those ads for Afternoon Tea and High Tea at hotels make you think 'What the hell'? Especially if it comes with a price tag of £25 like the one at the Balmoral, Edinburgh.  Really?  That much for a brew even if you are sitting your bum at a luxury five star hotel?

But guess what? 'Tea' may not necessarily refer to the brew.  It could just be a substitute for the word 'Dinner'.  I asked about this habit to a Brit colleague and he rubbed his chin, deep in thought. 'Hmmm.. I wouldn't really call it dinner unless I am out with family or friends dining at a restaurant'. 

So don't be surprised like the way I was when you go out for 'tea'.  For, at the Balmoral, tea is served last.  First comes the soup, very suspiciously called Cullen SKINK, followed by scones, then a pile of finger sandwiches and finally cakes and ice creams.  All served in a typical High Tea tray.  Tea is only served at the end when you slump back in your seat kinda happy about the 'meal'. Some of the things you will be served with strange names:

Oat bread:  A tasteless thin cracker-like biscuit. Spread butter on it and eat it with the Skink. Curl your mouth in disgust.

Shortbread: Again a biscuit that suspiciouly looks like unbaked flour shaped into rectangular shapes. All white. As if the baker forgot to put it in the oven.  But it doesn't taste all that bad!

Flapjack:  A thicker version of the Oat bread!  Only this one has some semblance of flavour. 

I wonder if I should be upset that the hotel didn't have checkered table cloths and covered my tea pot with a tea-cosy to keep it warm while I had my meal... uh.. had my tea (not the brew!).

 

Well, atleast now I no longer frown, wondering disapprovingly about the frugal habits of the Scots when my friend texts back saying 'Away out for tea for bro's birthday'.